Friday, 13 January 2017
BODY SHAMING? SEXUAL HARASSMENT? STOP EET!!!!
I have never fought anyone in my life. I am too much of a pacifist. But today, I almost went out of character and because I haven't dissipated that angst, I am now restless.
I walked into the departure lounge of MM1 this morning to check in for my flight back to Enugu and I was accosted by the vilest of creatures.
"Abuja or Enugu, ma?", he said initially. He appeared reasonable but I had had my share of experience with airport touts so I gently declined his offer. However, what he said next, made my blood boil.
"Sister, this your 'shest'"... I walked past him and asked a fellow passenger on the queue if that was for Enugu passengers. Initially, the shock of the statement had me do a double take but I shook it off, pretended not to notice he said that or was it that I was in a hurry that i did not react. Whatever my silence at such an affront meant at that point, he felt emboldened because I noticed he kept following me around and passing uncomplimentary comments about that part of my anatomy while my patience at him waned.
I was on the final check in line when he couldn't seem to help himself any longer and then walked up to me and muttered yet again like a depraved animal he was,"Aunty, I mean it. This ya 'shest'..." This time, I didn't let him finish. My right hand developed a mind of its own and lashed in his direction for a thundering slap. "I will slap the demons from your mouth if you come close to me again!!", I spat angrily,"What sort of animal are you?!" He ducked away from my aim so the slap didn't land on target and he slunk away, drawing stares from other people after him.
No one reacted but I noticed something different about my reaction to him. In the past, I would be the one slinking away in shame and mortification because I have faced all sorts of unsavoury comments from total strangers about my body but today, I was filled with rage. Murderous rage. I would have behaved out of character and slapped that idiot within an inch of his life.
I don't know what this post is setting out to achieve for you reading it but it is cathartic for me. My rage is spent.
It is bad to say stupid things to people on account of some physical flaw or otherwise they may have. No one has the right to make someone else feel what I have felt today and almost everyday of my teen and adult years. Sexual harassment and body shaming is wrong. Totally wrong. Trust me, you can get killed for it.
This nonsense needs to stop. We all need to be better people!!!
We have no idea what these things we say do to people's mind; their psyche. It messes them up. Some even need therapy to get over it long term. Just. Stop. It
Who even dictates what normal body forms are? We shame people for their bodies, their financial status, their educational prowess or lack of it, their faith, their convictions, their way of life, their choice of whom to love. marital status, even mode of child delivery!!!!
When do we stop?
I have chosen to stop hiding in cowardly fashion. I will start giving as good as I get.
That man should be lucky. He did dodge a grenade this morning.
A Moment With Doc...
This was a post originally put on Facebook by my very delectable, hardworking pal, Dr Oma Abii.
In clinic today, I saw a 14 year old girl, SS1 student. Very pretty, chubby, reminded me of my kid sister. She has sickle cell disease.
Very bright child I tell you! She wanted to know her (orthopedic) diagnosis, when I told her, she turned to her mom and said "I told you it was likely to be **** not. *****. I didn't have fever and the other things! "
I was curious, I asked her she said she had been googling her symptoms and the answers kept pointing to her diagnosis. She asked what we would do for her and all, it didn't feel like I was talking with a child... I was impressed!
Then without prompting, she asked me:
Her: Dr, do I have to be a doctor first before becoming a hematologist?
Me: As far as I know, yes
Her: I want to be a hematologist
Me: cool, why?
Her: I want to help and find a cure to this sickle cell disease. I hate it, I hate the pain, I hate that other people are passing through it too. It's not fair!
Me: *stunned*
In clinic today, I saw a 14 year old girl, SS1 student. Very pretty, chubby, reminded me of my kid sister. She has sickle cell disease.
Very bright child I tell you! She wanted to know her (orthopedic) diagnosis, when I told her, she turned to her mom and said "I told you it was likely to be **** not. *****. I didn't have fever and the other things! "
I was curious, I asked her she said she had been googling her symptoms and the answers kept pointing to her diagnosis. She asked what we would do for her and all, it didn't feel like I was talking with a child... I was impressed!
Then without prompting, she asked me:
Her: Dr, do I have to be a doctor first before becoming a hematologist?
Me: As far as I know, yes
Her: I want to be a hematologist
Me: cool, why?
Her: I want to help and find a cure to this sickle cell disease. I hate it, I hate the pain, I hate that other people are passing through it too. It's not fair!
Me: *stunned*
It's been a while I had that kind of sober moment, I actually had
goose bumps. She said she would read up on her diagnosis and come for
her next appointment with plenty questions,lol. She's a jewel, that one,
with a big heart. I pray her dreams come true!
PS: parents and intending parents, please for the sake of God, know your genotype before making children. These kids suffer too much; physically, emotionally and otherwise.
- Oma Abii
PS: parents and intending parents, please for the sake of God, know your genotype before making children. These kids suffer too much; physically, emotionally and otherwise.
- Oma Abii
Saturday, 7 January 2017
Shady Meds!!!!
Wetin dey worry our people?? Haba!!!!
The year is just 7 days old and the material I have for this series is ah-may-zing!!! Is that how trifle we are?!!
You are a TTC couple. Then, you, the woman, allow someone to poke around your body without your consent in a less than sterile environment where you notice the many unethical sharp practices going on and you still stay.
The same 'doctor' tells you he found a fibroid without a scan and you believed him. He did not conduct any relevant tests and you believed him too. Then the clincher. He gives you a cocktail of medications plus the herbal ones which you ignore every defined commonsensical thought and accept.
Tell me why you won't get sick?!!
There are mistakes one should never make in this age of knowledge which can be freely obtained from knowledgeable sources-online and offline. Don't just accept stuff without questions!!!
I say it now and I will keep saying it. Verify everything you are told by any doctor. If it seems off, it probably is because of the abundant quackery and sharp practice in the health sector.
When you are like this couple that are TTC, please, see a qualified Fertility specialist. There are a few certified ones. They don't come cheap but they get the job done. And Facebook posts do not qualify as a doctor's visit!! If you are told you have a fibroid, it is not a death sentence. See a qualified gynaecologist for proper consultation and treatment. More often than not, you don't need treatment for fibroid unless it poses a big problem to you. Besides, you can only see a fibroid during a scan of the abdomen, not by looking at fine face!! Be guided.
Also, learn about any medication you are given. And note any side effects so you can report back to the doctor and the treatment regimen can be reviewed. Never ever take anything at face value with regards to your health. You are not a house planted on a spot. You have a brain and a smart phone access. Use them!!
Organ failure is a major complication of drug misuse. People have even died from reactions to medications prescribed for them without any thought to side effects and other issues. Then, why would someone prescribe medications for you without you doing due diligence? You sure need a shrink.
Remain healthy and wise, my people.
Till next post...
The year is just 7 days old and the material I have for this series is ah-may-zing!!! Is that how trifle we are?!!
You are a TTC couple. Then, you, the woman, allow someone to poke around your body without your consent in a less than sterile environment where you notice the many unethical sharp practices going on and you still stay.
The same 'doctor' tells you he found a fibroid without a scan and you believed him. He did not conduct any relevant tests and you believed him too. Then the clincher. He gives you a cocktail of medications plus the herbal ones which you ignore every defined commonsensical thought and accept.
Tell me why you won't get sick?!!
There are mistakes one should never make in this age of knowledge which can be freely obtained from knowledgeable sources-online and offline. Don't just accept stuff without questions!!!
I say it now and I will keep saying it. Verify everything you are told by any doctor. If it seems off, it probably is because of the abundant quackery and sharp practice in the health sector.
When you are like this couple that are TTC, please, see a qualified Fertility specialist. There are a few certified ones. They don't come cheap but they get the job done. And Facebook posts do not qualify as a doctor's visit!! If you are told you have a fibroid, it is not a death sentence. See a qualified gynaecologist for proper consultation and treatment. More often than not, you don't need treatment for fibroid unless it poses a big problem to you. Besides, you can only see a fibroid during a scan of the abdomen, not by looking at fine face!! Be guided.
Also, learn about any medication you are given. And note any side effects so you can report back to the doctor and the treatment regimen can be reviewed. Never ever take anything at face value with regards to your health. You are not a house planted on a spot. You have a brain and a smart phone access. Use them!!
Organ failure is a major complication of drug misuse. People have even died from reactions to medications prescribed for them without any thought to side effects and other issues. Then, why would someone prescribe medications for you without you doing due diligence? You sure need a shrink.
Remain healthy and wise, my people.
Till next post...
Friday, 6 January 2017
CERVARIX
Remember that gist I told you about yesterday I had with a friend that birthed two posts? Well, this is the second post.
We were talking about Cervical Cancer and prevention and I told her about Cervarix. In case you have not heard, Cervarix is a vaccine against certain types of cancer-causing human papillomavirus (HPV). Cervarix is designed to prevent infection from HPV types 16 and 18, that cause about 70% of cervical cancer cases. These types also cause most HPV-induced genital and head and neck cancers.(Wikipedia)
Well, I took my son to get his vaccination when I learned from the nurse that the vaccine was available at UNTH Old Site ( for those who live in Enugu) but you must have screened and found to be negative before you go for the vaccine. So, armed with this info, I went to spread the good news to all who cared to listen to me.
Imagine my surprise when my friend told me she went to get the vaccine and was told by the doctor that she couldn't get as she was too old!!! Well, I went back to some doctor friends of mine to find out why this was so and I was informed that it was because the vaccine gets less effective with age and may not be useful if you have been sexually exposed.
That notwithstanding, the vaccine is available for females from the ages of 9-25 years. It is given in 0,1 and 6 months.That means that you get the vaccine now, then a month later, you collect the second dose. 6 months later, you get the last dose. You pay for each dose though, so go prepared.
Whether you get the vaccine or not, you still need a pap smear or Liquid based cytology (a better option, if you ask me) test done every other year to screen for HPV and for cervical cancers. Remember, a stitch in time, saves nine. There are some centres that offer the test at a very subsidized rate but a few places where they are available charge a fee for it.
Till next post,
Your Friendly Health Worker...
We were talking about Cervical Cancer and prevention and I told her about Cervarix. In case you have not heard, Cervarix is a vaccine against certain types of cancer-causing human papillomavirus (HPV). Cervarix is designed to prevent infection from HPV types 16 and 18, that cause about 70% of cervical cancer cases. These types also cause most HPV-induced genital and head and neck cancers.(Wikipedia)
Well, I took my son to get his vaccination when I learned from the nurse that the vaccine was available at UNTH Old Site ( for those who live in Enugu) but you must have screened and found to be negative before you go for the vaccine. So, armed with this info, I went to spread the good news to all who cared to listen to me.
Imagine my surprise when my friend told me she went to get the vaccine and was told by the doctor that she couldn't get as she was too old!!! Well, I went back to some doctor friends of mine to find out why this was so and I was informed that it was because the vaccine gets less effective with age and may not be useful if you have been sexually exposed.
That notwithstanding, the vaccine is available for females from the ages of 9-25 years. It is given in 0,1 and 6 months.That means that you get the vaccine now, then a month later, you collect the second dose. 6 months later, you get the last dose. You pay for each dose though, so go prepared.
Whether you get the vaccine or not, you still need a pap smear or Liquid based cytology (a better option, if you ask me) test done every other year to screen for HPV and for cervical cancers. Remember, a stitch in time, saves nine. There are some centres that offer the test at a very subsidized rate but a few places where they are available charge a fee for it.
Till next post,
Your Friendly Health Worker...
Thursday, 5 January 2017
HEALTH INTERVENTION SCHEME IN NIGERIA 1
My e-friend, Aishatu ( I hope to meet her in person this year, insha Allah), does some awesome work with an NGO and she gets to travel to cool places to monitor compliance to treatment and how Global funds are used to fight the scourge of TB. She shares some detail about her work which is quite interesting. This was originally featured on her Facebook page and will come as a series. Read and be informed...
So Community Health :
Let me start at the beginning :
A household survey was conducted among the poorest of the poor, and the major causes of death among the poorest of the poor via hospital records were discovered to be Malaria, complications from HIV infections and Tuberculosis. Childhood diseases that are mostly preventable through vaccination were leading causes of infant mortality in children, malnutrition among the most vulnerable population .
To this end Global Fund, Clinton Foundation, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the United States Presidential Intervention Fund, and lately Dangote and TY Danjuma Foundation ( TY Danjuma Foundation also concentrates on Eradication of River Blindness as it is quite common in Taraba the state the Founder of the Foundation is from) decided to focus resources to fight these disease areas.
Funding and communication with Global Fund and other donors is coordinated through the country coordinating mechanism CCM, it is made up of members of Civil societies, government agencies and labor organization. It is headed by a Chairman and Secretary. There is a secretariat that sees to the day to day running. CCM meets regularly to ratify decisions like engagement of Principle Recipients and Sub Recipients. They also monitor and supervise activities by PRs and SRs
First step was to renovate and revive the Primary Health Care System because these are the centers closest to the people in the community. This was done in partnership with the world Bank, Federal Government of Nigeria at that time through the Millinuenm Development Goals Project Headed by the New Un Deputy Secretary Amina Mohammed, at that time she was the special Assistant to President Obasanjo on MDGs. We were lucky to have her as she ensured that these Primary Health Care Centres were indeed built or renovated as contracted no Magu Magu.
The terms of the partnership was Government provides 30 percent, renovating and building the centres, deploying staff to the hospital and paying Staff Salaries while the NGOs listed above do 70 percent ; Pay for the drugs, pay for the services which will be received free by the clients, pay for project vehicles, pay salaries of the NGO workers who will ensure compliance, pay for community mobilization and information dissemination to ensure behaviorial change among the population, pay for the feeding intervention to ensure the Orphaned and Vulnerable Children get the most support in intervention states, pay for support group meetings of infected clients, pay for after school club meetings for vulnerable kids, kids orphaned by HIV so they can meet play, support each other and learn skills.
At the beginning of the intervention there were many challenges which would be discussed later.
It initially kicked off in all 36 states including FCT making 37 but due to dwindling funds, failure of some state Governments to pay their own part of the counterpart funding intensive intervention has been reduced to 20 priority states including FCT. Services and drugs are provided in the remaining states but there is no community mobilization or behavioral communication change.
The Global Fund works through Principal, Sub Recipients and Sub Sub Recipients ; Meaning NGOs can apply to be Principal Recipients receive funding directly from Global Fund and Manage Sub Recipients, the Sub Recipients work with Community Based Organizations in the Grassroots to directly implement. This has created employment to thousands of people including me.
Kaduna and Lagos are the First states to become Principal Recipients, meaning they receive funds directly from Global Fund to Implement in their states. This is a pilot scheme
In summary these are some of the services received free at Primary Health Care Centers due to this intervention :
1. HIV TESTING AND SERVICES
2. MALARIA TESTING AND SERVICES
3. TB TESTING AND SERVICES ( IN DOTS SITES)
4. FAMILY PLANNING SERVICES
5. FREE VACCINATION AGAINST CHILDHOOD DISEASES
6. PRIORITY IS PREVENTION OF MOTHER TO CHILD TRANSMISSION BY TESTING PREGNANT WOMEN AND COMMENCING IMMEDIATE ENROLLMENT TREATMENT OF PREGNANT WOMEN WHO ARE POSITIVE TO PREVENT TRANSMISSION TO FOETUS.
By Aishatu Ene Ella-John
To be continued...
So Community Health :
Let me start at the beginning :
A household survey was conducted among the poorest of the poor, and the major causes of death among the poorest of the poor via hospital records were discovered to be Malaria, complications from HIV infections and Tuberculosis. Childhood diseases that are mostly preventable through vaccination were leading causes of infant mortality in children, malnutrition among the most vulnerable population .
To this end Global Fund, Clinton Foundation, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the United States Presidential Intervention Fund, and lately Dangote and TY Danjuma Foundation ( TY Danjuma Foundation also concentrates on Eradication of River Blindness as it is quite common in Taraba the state the Founder of the Foundation is from) decided to focus resources to fight these disease areas.
Funding and communication with Global Fund and other donors is coordinated through the country coordinating mechanism CCM, it is made up of members of Civil societies, government agencies and labor organization. It is headed by a Chairman and Secretary. There is a secretariat that sees to the day to day running. CCM meets regularly to ratify decisions like engagement of Principle Recipients and Sub Recipients. They also monitor and supervise activities by PRs and SRs
First step was to renovate and revive the Primary Health Care System because these are the centers closest to the people in the community. This was done in partnership with the world Bank, Federal Government of Nigeria at that time through the Millinuenm Development Goals Project Headed by the New Un Deputy Secretary Amina Mohammed, at that time she was the special Assistant to President Obasanjo on MDGs. We were lucky to have her as she ensured that these Primary Health Care Centres were indeed built or renovated as contracted no Magu Magu.
The terms of the partnership was Government provides 30 percent, renovating and building the centres, deploying staff to the hospital and paying Staff Salaries while the NGOs listed above do 70 percent ; Pay for the drugs, pay for the services which will be received free by the clients, pay for project vehicles, pay salaries of the NGO workers who will ensure compliance, pay for community mobilization and information dissemination to ensure behaviorial change among the population, pay for the feeding intervention to ensure the Orphaned and Vulnerable Children get the most support in intervention states, pay for support group meetings of infected clients, pay for after school club meetings for vulnerable kids, kids orphaned by HIV so they can meet play, support each other and learn skills.
At the beginning of the intervention there were many challenges which would be discussed later.
It initially kicked off in all 36 states including FCT making 37 but due to dwindling funds, failure of some state Governments to pay their own part of the counterpart funding intensive intervention has been reduced to 20 priority states including FCT. Services and drugs are provided in the remaining states but there is no community mobilization or behavioral communication change.
The Global Fund works through Principal, Sub Recipients and Sub Sub Recipients ; Meaning NGOs can apply to be Principal Recipients receive funding directly from Global Fund and Manage Sub Recipients, the Sub Recipients work with Community Based Organizations in the Grassroots to directly implement. This has created employment to thousands of people including me.
Kaduna and Lagos are the First states to become Principal Recipients, meaning they receive funds directly from Global Fund to Implement in their states. This is a pilot scheme
In summary these are some of the services received free at Primary Health Care Centers due to this intervention :
1. HIV TESTING AND SERVICES
2. MALARIA TESTING AND SERVICES
3. TB TESTING AND SERVICES ( IN DOTS SITES)
4. FAMILY PLANNING SERVICES
5. FREE VACCINATION AGAINST CHILDHOOD DISEASES
6. PRIORITY IS PREVENTION OF MOTHER TO CHILD TRANSMISSION BY TESTING PREGNANT WOMEN AND COMMENCING IMMEDIATE ENROLLMENT TREATMENT OF PREGNANT WOMEN WHO ARE POSITIVE TO PREVENT TRANSMISSION TO FOETUS.
By Aishatu Ene Ella-John
To be continued...
Servicing The Recession
I know I will be sounding like a broken record when I say, "There is a recession" but, hey, there IS a recession. And it is no longer news that jobs are being cut on the regular. Families can longer sustain themselves, bills are mounting and inflation is at an all time high.
This phenomenon has mostly affected the young, productive demographic, I mean, those that are either working and able to or those able to work and seeking employment. You can imagine the stress on a lot of families.
So, while trading lamentations on issues of being a full time work-out-of-home-mum-without-help and the dearth of reliable live in helps in the country coupled with the rate of unemployment and its attendant issues with a friend, a few thoughts came to me on how I can encourage young people to think creatively about ways to create value in their immediate community and at the same time, make money and I will share it with you.
You know the beauty of being a value adding entity in your community? It is in finding a NEED and filling it!! That simple. And there is a huge gap in Domestic services. You think I am lying? Find out the number of households in your neighbourhood that have househelps or maids or some other sort of domestic help.
Now, this is where you come in. You and a few friends can team up and decide to provide help (not the MMM kind of help o) temporarily for families in your neighbourhood for a token. That is a start. Your team can put word out that you can clean the house, do laundry, go shopping and wash cars for a token fee. On the said day, you all can appear at your client's house with your cleaning supplies and clean the heck out of that place and even help the client organize their space. Do it well and conscientiously for one or two families and you would get a stream of jobs in the neighbourhood. One of you can keep the books. You can have a schedule of jobs you offer and days you will be available for each job and the time frame for such jobs. You could add shopping to your list. A team member who can drive an awesome bargain can undertake that. Another team member can undertake car washing for a fee.
Keep your pricing reasonable. And make it fun while at it. Be very prudent in spending and as your profile grows, grow your little "business" until it becomes something big. My only advice is, please be HONEST. Always deliver on promises. For example, if you say it takes you two hours to clean a house, you will get better referrals if you do the job in under two hours and do a very good job. That is called under promising and over delivering (if there is anything like that. We just use it at my office to communicate value to staff).
Getting ideas, yet? Aha! Trust me, do a good job, then you will be making enough revenue to help yourself out of recession in no time.
Never say I never gave you anything good this new year.
This phenomenon has mostly affected the young, productive demographic, I mean, those that are either working and able to or those able to work and seeking employment. You can imagine the stress on a lot of families.
So, while trading lamentations on issues of being a full time work-out-of-home-mum-without-help and the dearth of reliable live in helps in the country coupled with the rate of unemployment and its attendant issues with a friend, a few thoughts came to me on how I can encourage young people to think creatively about ways to create value in their immediate community and at the same time, make money and I will share it with you.
You know the beauty of being a value adding entity in your community? It is in finding a NEED and filling it!! That simple. And there is a huge gap in Domestic services. You think I am lying? Find out the number of households in your neighbourhood that have househelps or maids or some other sort of domestic help.
Now, this is where you come in. You and a few friends can team up and decide to provide help (not the MMM kind of help o) temporarily for families in your neighbourhood for a token. That is a start. Your team can put word out that you can clean the house, do laundry, go shopping and wash cars for a token fee. On the said day, you all can appear at your client's house with your cleaning supplies and clean the heck out of that place and even help the client organize their space. Do it well and conscientiously for one or two families and you would get a stream of jobs in the neighbourhood. One of you can keep the books. You can have a schedule of jobs you offer and days you will be available for each job and the time frame for such jobs. You could add shopping to your list. A team member who can drive an awesome bargain can undertake that. Another team member can undertake car washing for a fee.
Keep your pricing reasonable. And make it fun while at it. Be very prudent in spending and as your profile grows, grow your little "business" until it becomes something big. My only advice is, please be HONEST. Always deliver on promises. For example, if you say it takes you two hours to clean a house, you will get better referrals if you do the job in under two hours and do a very good job. That is called under promising and over delivering (if there is anything like that. We just use it at my office to communicate value to staff).
Getting ideas, yet? Aha! Trust me, do a good job, then you will be making enough revenue to help yourself out of recession in no time.
Never say I never gave you anything good this new year.
Faithing it out...Not!!!
I had a very interesting conversation with a dear friend today that inspired me to put up this post. Being in the health profession puts one front and center of some of the most harrowing life changes one can experience. In fact, if one is not careful, you become desensitized and start questioning your humanity but I digress.
So, our interesting conversation birthed two posts and this is one of it.
Ogbeni, it is a real wa for you o!!! Ah!!!! Na so e dey hungry you to play with your life?! The doctor has looked you up and your diagnosis requires that you get regular dialysis to remain in good health and possibly reverse your condition but what do you do? You decide in your infinite "wisdom" that going home and "living by faith and positive confessions" was the best way to go. Good luck to you. So, what was your distraught family members looking for in the hospital when your situation was past what dialysis can resolve.
Do you know that there are times when dialysis is not enough? So, why didn't you just stick to the treatment plan with your doctor at least until it doesn't work anymore? Coming back when your organs had completely failed and you were this close to pack up is just another psychological trauma on your doctor and carers o. Or do you think health workers are not humans with feelings too? So, you did not realize that failure to keep you alive impacts on their careers. Years later, they are still reviewing your case to find out where the ball dropped while maybe your family is still mourning and blaming them when the blame should be placed where it belongs- Your Criminally Insane Decision to Ignore Medical Advice. Chai!!! Ogbeni, stop eet!!!!!
Please!!! This is a new year o!! Resolve today to take your health seriously. Talk with your doctor about your condition, if you have one. Discuss diagnostic and treatment options and choose the best one with the best prognosis. Trust me, your life is also important to the doctor. Do it today and enjoy a great quality of life.
Till next post, remain healthy and wise.
You know I love you, right?
Your Friendly Health Worker...
So, our interesting conversation birthed two posts and this is one of it.
Ogbeni, it is a real wa for you o!!! Ah!!!! Na so e dey hungry you to play with your life?! The doctor has looked you up and your diagnosis requires that you get regular dialysis to remain in good health and possibly reverse your condition but what do you do? You decide in your infinite "wisdom" that going home and "living by faith and positive confessions" was the best way to go. Good luck to you. So, what was your distraught family members looking for in the hospital when your situation was past what dialysis can resolve.
Do you know that there are times when dialysis is not enough? So, why didn't you just stick to the treatment plan with your doctor at least until it doesn't work anymore? Coming back when your organs had completely failed and you were this close to pack up is just another psychological trauma on your doctor and carers o. Or do you think health workers are not humans with feelings too? So, you did not realize that failure to keep you alive impacts on their careers. Years later, they are still reviewing your case to find out where the ball dropped while maybe your family is still mourning and blaming them when the blame should be placed where it belongs- Your Criminally Insane Decision to Ignore Medical Advice. Chai!!! Ogbeni, stop eet!!!!!
Please!!! This is a new year o!! Resolve today to take your health seriously. Talk with your doctor about your condition, if you have one. Discuss diagnostic and treatment options and choose the best one with the best prognosis. Trust me, your life is also important to the doctor. Do it today and enjoy a great quality of life.
Till next post, remain healthy and wise.
You know I love you, right?
Your Friendly Health Worker...
Tuesday, 3 January 2017
On Abuse and Victim Blaming
I have been blessed by wonderful virtual friends that stretch me intellectually and challenge me to stick up for what I believe in. One of such persons is Nkechi Cheery Bianze. Her Facebook post on Victim Blaming for DV victims spoke to me so I decided to put it here with her permission.
I enjoyed it. I know you would too, so here we go...
In the UK, as soon as a victim reports a case of domestic violence, the first thing they do is take the victim and all dependants to a safe place. From lodging in hotels to shelter homes, and then to council flats or rented apartment....depending on the financial capacity of the victim.
While at this, the society do not give you the impression that you have failed. They won't blame you for your plight. They won't tell you that you were rude to your abuser, they won't make excuses for your abuser, you will not be stigmatized if you decide to get divorced from your marriage with your abuser.
The police will not tell you that it's a family issue. They will not ask you what you did to your abuser that made him or her abuse you. They would usually take your abuser away immediately while they keep you safe.
They will also give you the option of whether or not you want to press charges, and this only happens if there's no enough evidence. If there is, the state will press charges, with or without your consent.
In the US and Canada, similar procedures are taken in cases of domestic violence like in the UK. Except that since there are fewer shelter homes and council houses; the abuser will be asked to leave the house for the abused (in most cases), and a restraining order issued immediately.
*** Now let's come back home to NIGERIA***
If for instance a woman reports to the police that she is being abused by her husband, they will tell her that it's a family issue. They will ask her what she did to her husband that made him beat her. They will ask her if she is doing everything right, they will make excuses for the abuser.
If she goes to church, the Pastor will ask her to go and pray, the pastor's wife and elders will ask her to be submissive, the church will not fail to blame her for not being a perfect wife, hence turning the husband into a monster.
If she comes to Facebook, they will ask her to watch war room, and the rest will request for the other side of the story. Because in Nigeria where I come from, by default, the victim gets blamed and the abuser enjoys the benefits of doubt. And we spend more time and energy telling the victim not to overreact than we do telling the abuser not to abuse.
If she goes back to her parents or family, they will offer to help her go and beg her husband, they will tell her not to bring shame to the family by seeking divorce, they will tell her to do it for the sake of the children.
If she goes to the husband's family, they will tell her that they paid her bride price.
If she leaves the abusive husband, the society will mock her for being a divorcee. She will be called a failure for not being able to remain married to her abuser.
And if she goes back to stay put in abuse and she gets killed or marred for life, same society will ask her why she didn't leave before it got to that level.... why she had to die in her marriage, and why she couldn't use her brains.
You see, in the Nigerian society, female victims of domestic violence never win. Whatever they say or do will always be used against them. They are always wrong, it's always their fault, there's always something to blame in the victims. The victim is inherently guilty as charged.
The psychology of the Nigerian woman is nutured to believe that the ability to remain married, even to the most deadly monster is all there is to life. If for any reason you don't get married or remain married, then you are a colossal failure.
This is a mental slavery that many still live in. Not very many have been able to emancipate from such mental slavery.
The ability to emancipate from this mental slavery is not in the level of education nor exposure, it's an inner decision that people get to make at different stages of their lives.
My cousin who has just WAEC to her name, jobless and was fully dependent on ex husband walked away with her 3-month old baby girl, and went back to her VERY POOR parents.
On the other hand, I still know medical doctors, Lawyers, PhD holders and other high earning professionals who are still living and putting up with abusive partners.
With my cousin's poverty, and at the age of 25 (she got married at 23 and got divorced at 25, now 28), she had emancipated from the mental slavery, even before other women who are by far more educated, exposed, richer, and enlightened than she is.
Not until we stop blaming victims, not until we stop shaming single mothers and single fathers, not until we stop preaching the gospel that the ability to be and remain married is the sole reason for the existence of women; more women will keep dying in domestic violence. Because this sermon is what builds up over the years, and gets passed on from generation to generation as our mentality... a "sacred culture", and this is the foundation of the mental slavery most women who continously put up with domestic violence live in.
I enjoyed it. I know you would too, so here we go...
In the UK, as soon as a victim reports a case of domestic violence, the first thing they do is take the victim and all dependants to a safe place. From lodging in hotels to shelter homes, and then to council flats or rented apartment....depending on the financial capacity of the victim.
While at this, the society do not give you the impression that you have failed. They won't blame you for your plight. They won't tell you that you were rude to your abuser, they won't make excuses for your abuser, you will not be stigmatized if you decide to get divorced from your marriage with your abuser.
The police will not tell you that it's a family issue. They will not ask you what you did to your abuser that made him or her abuse you. They would usually take your abuser away immediately while they keep you safe.
They will also give you the option of whether or not you want to press charges, and this only happens if there's no enough evidence. If there is, the state will press charges, with or without your consent.
In the US and Canada, similar procedures are taken in cases of domestic violence like in the UK. Except that since there are fewer shelter homes and council houses; the abuser will be asked to leave the house for the abused (in most cases), and a restraining order issued immediately.
*** Now let's come back home to NIGERIA***
If for instance a woman reports to the police that she is being abused by her husband, they will tell her that it's a family issue. They will ask her what she did to her husband that made him beat her. They will ask her if she is doing everything right, they will make excuses for the abuser.
If she goes to church, the Pastor will ask her to go and pray, the pastor's wife and elders will ask her to be submissive, the church will not fail to blame her for not being a perfect wife, hence turning the husband into a monster.
If she comes to Facebook, they will ask her to watch war room, and the rest will request for the other side of the story. Because in Nigeria where I come from, by default, the victim gets blamed and the abuser enjoys the benefits of doubt. And we spend more time and energy telling the victim not to overreact than we do telling the abuser not to abuse.
If she goes back to her parents or family, they will offer to help her go and beg her husband, they will tell her not to bring shame to the family by seeking divorce, they will tell her to do it for the sake of the children.
If she goes to the husband's family, they will tell her that they paid her bride price.
If she leaves the abusive husband, the society will mock her for being a divorcee. She will be called a failure for not being able to remain married to her abuser.
And if she goes back to stay put in abuse and she gets killed or marred for life, same society will ask her why she didn't leave before it got to that level.... why she had to die in her marriage, and why she couldn't use her brains.
You see, in the Nigerian society, female victims of domestic violence never win. Whatever they say or do will always be used against them. They are always wrong, it's always their fault, there's always something to blame in the victims. The victim is inherently guilty as charged.
The psychology of the Nigerian woman is nutured to believe that the ability to remain married, even to the most deadly monster is all there is to life. If for any reason you don't get married or remain married, then you are a colossal failure.
This is a mental slavery that many still live in. Not very many have been able to emancipate from such mental slavery.
The ability to emancipate from this mental slavery is not in the level of education nor exposure, it's an inner decision that people get to make at different stages of their lives.
My cousin who has just WAEC to her name, jobless and was fully dependent on ex husband walked away with her 3-month old baby girl, and went back to her VERY POOR parents.
On the other hand, I still know medical doctors, Lawyers, PhD holders and other high earning professionals who are still living and putting up with abusive partners.
With my cousin's poverty, and at the age of 25 (she got married at 23 and got divorced at 25, now 28), she had emancipated from the mental slavery, even before other women who are by far more educated, exposed, richer, and enlightened than she is.
Not until we stop blaming victims, not until we stop shaming single mothers and single fathers, not until we stop preaching the gospel that the ability to be and remain married is the sole reason for the existence of women; more women will keep dying in domestic violence. Because this sermon is what builds up over the years, and gets passed on from generation to generation as our mentality... a "sacred culture", and this is the foundation of the mental slavery most women who continously put up with domestic violence live in.
Monday, 2 January 2017
Of Angels and Demons
Someone once told me that experience was a good teacher but that one did not need to go through everything in order to learn. It didn't make sense to me when I heard this but I remember the conversation 5 years later and I can't help but see the truth this person was sharing.
You see, the salon to me is so much more than a place to make the latest hairstyle come alive on my head. It has aslo turned to the shrink's chair, confessional, court, even a provider of fodder for gossip and food for thought. Which was why when I went to the salon on this particular day, I was not prepared for the macabre story I heard.
So, this woman (we will call her Roz) had died, leaving behind three children, aged 4 to 10 years. She was not ill, she did not have an accident. Her husband beat her and she fell from the staircase while running away from his blows. She died later in the hospital from injuries sustained from the beating and fall from the staircase. The worst thing about this story is that she had been warned by her mother and sisters to leave the abusive marriage but she did not heed. She wanted to be a hero and died a coward.
You see, the real victims in this sad story are the children that witnessed this abuse for years. And this leads me to ask, when does it all end? When do you say enough? When does the angel transform into a demon? When does self preservation kick in and you run for your life? Do you even need anyone to tell you to save yourself?
Many of the victims of domestic violence often say the reason they stay is because they are afraid of what people will say and how to start over. I dare say that it really doesn't fly in the face of the obvious. I was once told by a lecturer in school, that self preservation was the first rule of life.
A friend said in a Facebook post I read, that people should learn to walk away when their lives are in danger. I know I have even made similar posts in the past. I mean, animals do it when being chased by predators so why not humans with apparently more intelligence?
We do not need these sort of stories anymore. There are no winners in the end.
Again, do you really need anyone to tell you to flee in the face of terror? Borrow yourself brain today, brethren.
-Your Friendly Health Worker.
So, this woman (we will call her Roz) had died, leaving behind three children, aged 4 to 10 years. She was not ill, she did not have an accident. Her husband beat her and she fell from the staircase while running away from his blows. She died later in the hospital from injuries sustained from the beating and fall from the staircase. The worst thing about this story is that she had been warned by her mother and sisters to leave the abusive marriage but she did not heed. She wanted to be a hero and died a coward.
You see, the real victims in this sad story are the children that witnessed this abuse for years. And this leads me to ask, when does it all end? When do you say enough? When does the angel transform into a demon? When does self preservation kick in and you run for your life? Do you even need anyone to tell you to save yourself?
Many of the victims of domestic violence often say the reason they stay is because they are afraid of what people will say and how to start over. I dare say that it really doesn't fly in the face of the obvious. I was once told by a lecturer in school, that self preservation was the first rule of life.
A friend said in a Facebook post I read, that people should learn to walk away when their lives are in danger. I know I have even made similar posts in the past. I mean, animals do it when being chased by predators so why not humans with apparently more intelligence?
We do not need these sort of stories anymore. There are no winners in the end.
Again, do you really need anyone to tell you to flee in the face of terror? Borrow yourself brain today, brethren.
-Your Friendly Health Worker.
Hebrew Women Phenomenon
This was supposed to be a post for last year but hey, my people say Taa bu gboo- Today is still a good time as any. So, here we go. Enjoy.
Rant alert!!!
I am vexing and I want to vent my vex but before I do let me
share a fun fact;
MMR(NIGERIA, 2015)-814/100,000 (WHO REPORT)
Wondering what that gibberish means? That is the maternal
mortality rate (MMR) for Nigeria for the year 2015. It basically means that in
100,000 live births, we are sure to have 814 women die from issues ranging from
poorly managed complications to self-inflicted complications. And you see,
numbers like this are way too much by world standards. 814 women should not die
giving birth. It is heart breaking. Simple. And we must bring this number down
to the barest minimum.
You see, I keep talking about the self inflicted
complications but people don’t seem to understand where I am coming from. My
focus in this rant is on one major contributing factor to this number I have
mentioned- I MUST “BORN” LIKE HEBREW WOMEN or what I call the HEBREW WOMEN
PHENOMENON.
What does this phenomenon connote? Hm. I will start with a
story. You see, while I was interning in one of the teaching hospitals in South
eastern Nigeria, I came across all sorts of very funny characters- patients and
health professionals alike but some patients do take the cake.
Nkiru(not real name) was one of such funny individuals. You see,
Nkiru has been married for about half a decade without a child. Now, in this
part of the world where I lived, it was unheard of that her husband has not
married a son-giving woman since the second year of that marriage but Nkiru’s
husband, Stanley(not real name) stuck by her and supported her through the many
ordeals she went through. This led them to a new generation church and by some
stroke of fate, Nkiru fell pregnant eventually. I don’t know if she was paying
attention during her ante natal classes but the Man of God in her church had
impressed it on them that certain things were a no no for ‘children of God’ who
were to give birth. Things like Caesarean Section, any form of assistance
during childbirth. Apparently, something to look forward to was delivering like
“Hebrew women” which meant, delivering without any form of medical assistance
or intervention.
Well, Nkiru was having this ‘miracle’ baby boy and on her
delivery date I was on call in the blood bank. Baby was presenting with his
buttocks instead of his head which requires medical intervention-CS. It was
suggested to her but guess what? She staunchly refused. The God of XYZ will not
let the devil succeed in robbing her of the chance to deliver like Hebrew
women. By the time I got involved, she had had a bad tear in her uterus and the
baby was distressed. Stanley had eventually signed consent for an emergency CS.
Well, I did my job which was to get blood across to the theatre and the surgery
was done. Baby was born but Nkiru lost her womb in the process. Thank goodness
she did not die. It would have been tragic and would have affected our MMR.
Lesson? I always tell whoever cares to listen that delivery
a la Hebrew Women is just making sure that both mother and baby come out of the
delivery room with little or no complications or death on either side.
Apparently, religious houses and some unscrupulous elements think medical
intervention during delivery is a taboo. Jesus, take the wheel!!!
I advise strongly that every time your pregnancy test reads
positive, after congratulating yourself or got over the shock, kindly find
yourself in the nearest good hospital and register for proper antenatal care.
Prayers are good but in all getting, get wisdom and apply accordingly.
Never say I didn’t do something nice for you...
- Your Friendly Health Worker.
HAPPY 2017
This blog project of mine has showed me something sha. It has proved to me the age long saying that Procrastination is the thief of time.
That said, welcome to 2017- The Year of The Unveiling and Becoming (No puns there). I have so many projects up my sleeves but I hope and pray sincerely that they won't go like my blog-dormant. So, God helping me, I'll put up more posts this year, especially on a topic dear to my heart- Patient Education.
This blog will see increased activity and hopefully from here we can move on to bigger things.
So, watch out world. This is going to be the New home for the Friendly Health Worker and the Criminally Insane.
Oshe Online Health Worker!!!
Welcome to 2017, my people.
That said, welcome to 2017- The Year of The Unveiling and Becoming (No puns there). I have so many projects up my sleeves but I hope and pray sincerely that they won't go like my blog-dormant. So, God helping me, I'll put up more posts this year, especially on a topic dear to my heart- Patient Education.
This blog will see increased activity and hopefully from here we can move on to bigger things.
So, watch out world. This is going to be the New home for the Friendly Health Worker and the Criminally Insane.
Oshe Online Health Worker!!!
Welcome to 2017, my people.
Sunday, 2 February 2014
Tech what?....
I love technology. Heck, I love anything that makes life easier. That's why I love this cashless economy ish that just got introduced. It totally works for me o jare. What it means for yours truly is that no unnecessary cash goes home with me, so, automatically, no unnecessary spending. Or so I thought.
It also happens that what one loves, kills one. That is where my dislike for technology starts. You know, those very embarrasing moments that make you wish you were still analogue not digital. Well, I digress.
Well, this last friday, Kaira had her vaccination appointment and I had a few things I needed to do in town so I decided to kill two birds with a stone. The appointment took longer than I anticipated but I still had a window of 3 hours before she becomes cranky so I hit the mall close to the hospital for some grocery shopping.
For some reason I couldn't immediately name, I stopped at the nearest ATM and made a quick withdrawal and went in to do my shopping. I had asked the cab guy to wait for a few minutes since I knew I wasn't going to waste time and the human traffic was manageable. I figured 5 minutes tops I'd be done so I left my purse in the car and grabbed my daughter and my ATM card and dashed into the shop.
A quick dash through the aisles later and I found myself at the checkout queue, feeling cool with myself. When it got to my turn, I gave the attendant my card and she swiped it. Transaction error. What?!, I thought. She assured me it was probably the network and fetched another POS machine. The lady behind me on the queue gave and impatient hiss and Kaira, who hitherto had been sleeping, woke fretfully. Her body was getting hot to the touch so my system kicked into urgent mode. The attendant swiped my card again. Issuer not operative. Hian! Which kain nonsense be this na? I was getting cranky myself because Kaira had started crying. Not good at all. The attendant said, "Don't worry, madam. Let me check this third machine" but I was barely listening. I was beyond livid and I cursed at the machine. (Like say na the machine cause am). When the third machine gave the same error message, I swore at my bank's network service and excused myself and dashed to the cab to retrieve my purse. Luckily, the cash in my purse was enough to pay for what I had bought.
God senior devil sha. Technology no go kill person.
It also happens that what one loves, kills one. That is where my dislike for technology starts. You know, those very embarrasing moments that make you wish you were still analogue not digital. Well, I digress.
Well, this last friday, Kaira had her vaccination appointment and I had a few things I needed to do in town so I decided to kill two birds with a stone. The appointment took longer than I anticipated but I still had a window of 3 hours before she becomes cranky so I hit the mall close to the hospital for some grocery shopping.
For some reason I couldn't immediately name, I stopped at the nearest ATM and made a quick withdrawal and went in to do my shopping. I had asked the cab guy to wait for a few minutes since I knew I wasn't going to waste time and the human traffic was manageable. I figured 5 minutes tops I'd be done so I left my purse in the car and grabbed my daughter and my ATM card and dashed into the shop.
A quick dash through the aisles later and I found myself at the checkout queue, feeling cool with myself. When it got to my turn, I gave the attendant my card and she swiped it. Transaction error. What?!, I thought. She assured me it was probably the network and fetched another POS machine. The lady behind me on the queue gave and impatient hiss and Kaira, who hitherto had been sleeping, woke fretfully. Her body was getting hot to the touch so my system kicked into urgent mode. The attendant swiped my card again. Issuer not operative. Hian! Which kain nonsense be this na? I was getting cranky myself because Kaira had started crying. Not good at all. The attendant said, "Don't worry, madam. Let me check this third machine" but I was barely listening. I was beyond livid and I cursed at the machine. (Like say na the machine cause am). When the third machine gave the same error message, I swore at my bank's network service and excused myself and dashed to the cab to retrieve my purse. Luckily, the cash in my purse was enough to pay for what I had bought.
God senior devil sha. Technology no go kill person.
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
After Hours Drama...
I thought going to work with Kaira was hard but it turns out scheduling my after work hours was more difficult especially with DH out of town for a while. I had a pile of laundry, hers and mine, eyeing me in the basket. (Really need to install that washing machine o). Plus, the house needed cleaning from all the dust. My sleep routine had gone to the dogs so I was cruising on less than the required sleep time. My to do list for the weekend was long as it is and given the fact that I worked mondays through saturdays, I was left with only a fraction of the weekend and I was playing catch up with the home front.
Well, this saturday was no different. We had gone to the office as usual and I was mentally trying to figure out how to schedule the housework and still catch some shut eye with as little Kaira drama as possible. So far, the day had started well so I had hope. We were to leave by 1pm for home so when she was still cooing and playing by 12noon, I became desperate. Na wa o! I needed her to sleep and as she was a deep sleeper, she would still be sleeping while I made an appreciable dent on the housework before she woke up. My mind working fast, I tried to force her to nurse. Maybe that would help her sleep but for where? She seemed to have her own parallel agenda that day. Hmmmm. I see. Well, you know what they say about cunny man. I must do my chores today o.
Resolve made, I called a cab to come pick us and while we waited for the cab, I decided on a course of action. I would place her in her cot and quickly do my chores and pick her. That will be after she must have had a loong feed. That way, I figured she will be happy and coo at me while I worked. On our way home, she kept up a steady babble and I responded wearily. Omo, to be mummy no easy o. I really needed sleep but housework must be done. Anyway sha, when we reach house...
Once we got home, I attempted one sharp move. I placed her in her cot and tried to dash into the bathroom to get a head start on the washing but she caught on because she stopped babbling all of a sudden and started whimpering. I quickly dumped all the clothing I had in my hand into the tub of water and ran back to coo at her. She smile at me and went back to her babbling. Na so I wan take do this work today? And I never sabi back pikin.
Well, I decided something had to give. I either start this work and finish it today or give in to Kaira's wahala. One look at the pile of clothes and I made my decision. I started with the bathroom. At least I would be quick, I thought. But I thought wrong. Very wrong. Because she saw I had moved again and started crying. Low volume cries at first. I ignored her but my hands flew with urgency at my chore. She kicked up the volume a notch and I worked faster, all the while talking to her softly until she went into full shouting mode. This geh! Haba!
I quickly rinsed out my hands and rushed to pick her. She had reached the wailing, shuddering point by now so I tried to get her to calm down. She stopped wailing but was still complaining in baby language and I almost broke down in tears of my own frustration. Kaira cooperate na!, I pleaded. When we were still doing this 5 minutes later, I made another desperate move. Time was going and I still had to cook. I got her to stop completely and started to nurse her again. This time, she drowsily accepted and I sighed my thanks to heaven. See me bargaining with God that day. Please, Father, I just need this girl to sleep for like 3 hours so I could finish what I was doing.
He did more because she fell asleep and I was able to wash, cook and clean and even catch some beauty sleep.
Whew, what a day!
Well, this saturday was no different. We had gone to the office as usual and I was mentally trying to figure out how to schedule the housework and still catch some shut eye with as little Kaira drama as possible. So far, the day had started well so I had hope. We were to leave by 1pm for home so when she was still cooing and playing by 12noon, I became desperate. Na wa o! I needed her to sleep and as she was a deep sleeper, she would still be sleeping while I made an appreciable dent on the housework before she woke up. My mind working fast, I tried to force her to nurse. Maybe that would help her sleep but for where? She seemed to have her own parallel agenda that day. Hmmmm. I see. Well, you know what they say about cunny man. I must do my chores today o.
Resolve made, I called a cab to come pick us and while we waited for the cab, I decided on a course of action. I would place her in her cot and quickly do my chores and pick her. That will be after she must have had a loong feed. That way, I figured she will be happy and coo at me while I worked. On our way home, she kept up a steady babble and I responded wearily. Omo, to be mummy no easy o. I really needed sleep but housework must be done. Anyway sha, when we reach house...
Once we got home, I attempted one sharp move. I placed her in her cot and tried to dash into the bathroom to get a head start on the washing but she caught on because she stopped babbling all of a sudden and started whimpering. I quickly dumped all the clothing I had in my hand into the tub of water and ran back to coo at her. She smile at me and went back to her babbling. Na so I wan take do this work today? And I never sabi back pikin.
Well, I decided something had to give. I either start this work and finish it today or give in to Kaira's wahala. One look at the pile of clothes and I made my decision. I started with the bathroom. At least I would be quick, I thought. But I thought wrong. Very wrong. Because she saw I had moved again and started crying. Low volume cries at first. I ignored her but my hands flew with urgency at my chore. She kicked up the volume a notch and I worked faster, all the while talking to her softly until she went into full shouting mode. This geh! Haba!
I quickly rinsed out my hands and rushed to pick her. She had reached the wailing, shuddering point by now so I tried to get her to calm down. She stopped wailing but was still complaining in baby language and I almost broke down in tears of my own frustration. Kaira cooperate na!, I pleaded. When we were still doing this 5 minutes later, I made another desperate move. Time was going and I still had to cook. I got her to stop completely and started to nurse her again. This time, she drowsily accepted and I sighed my thanks to heaven. See me bargaining with God that day. Please, Father, I just need this girl to sleep for like 3 hours so I could finish what I was doing.
He did more because she fell asleep and I was able to wash, cook and clean and even catch some beauty sleep.
Whew, what a day!
Lessons well taught, Lessons well learnt...
Uwa a bu mahadum, biko muta ihe.- Igbo proverb
The above quote simply means, "This life is a college. Please learn something". Since I started this journey, it's been one lesson or the other. I have learnt that, contrary to expectations, two tiny fists can fit into one equally tiny mouth (who else but a baby can do that?). I have also learnt that, I must be gifted in baby speak if I must get ahead and also holding long, audible conversations only you understand is not boring. And you thought babies weren't teachers?
Well, the biggest lesson was the one she taught me yesterday while we were at work. For some weird reason, it decided to rain in the middle of January. I don't mean the drizzle-to-keep-the-dust-down kind of rain but the all out lightening flashing, thunder booming kind. And, boy, was it heavy?
I had taken the umpteenth break from work to nurse Kaira but she was chatty so we started our conversation while the rain pelted every surface outside (please do not ask. I do not even know what we were talking about). Suddenly, it happened. The booming sound of the crashing thunder. She jumped in my arms and stopped chatting, fear written all over her face and I held her closer to comfort her. Then, another. And yet another crash. All the while she kept jumping despite my cooing in her ear that I got her. When she jumped yet again on hearing the sound, I couldn't help but ask her, "Honey, why are you scared? Mummy's got you". She no answer me but that was when she eloquently taught me a lesson without words.
Many a time, life crashes like thunder all around us and we get so jumpy and afraid that we forget how strong God is. (Forgive me for being preachy). He holds us in His capable hands and asks us to trust and believe that He's got it all figured out but we still jump and fear. We need to remember the power He has given us and also remember that it is alright not to have all the answers. We are made weak so His strength is made manifest. Profound lesson learnt.
So I forgave my dearest Kaira for being scared while mummy had her safe because I also make the same mistake and I should know better. It may not be easy living without having all the answers but I know God has got my back. He'll never let me down because He set me on this journey and has the master plan.
So when next there is a thunderstorm (issues, that is), I know who to go to. And I am super confident I'll get my answers and bearings right.
Now, that's faith...
The above quote simply means, "This life is a college. Please learn something". Since I started this journey, it's been one lesson or the other. I have learnt that, contrary to expectations, two tiny fists can fit into one equally tiny mouth (who else but a baby can do that?). I have also learnt that, I must be gifted in baby speak if I must get ahead and also holding long, audible conversations only you understand is not boring. And you thought babies weren't teachers?
Well, the biggest lesson was the one she taught me yesterday while we were at work. For some weird reason, it decided to rain in the middle of January. I don't mean the drizzle-to-keep-the-dust-down kind of rain but the all out lightening flashing, thunder booming kind. And, boy, was it heavy?
I had taken the umpteenth break from work to nurse Kaira but she was chatty so we started our conversation while the rain pelted every surface outside (please do not ask. I do not even know what we were talking about). Suddenly, it happened. The booming sound of the crashing thunder. She jumped in my arms and stopped chatting, fear written all over her face and I held her closer to comfort her. Then, another. And yet another crash. All the while she kept jumping despite my cooing in her ear that I got her. When she jumped yet again on hearing the sound, I couldn't help but ask her, "Honey, why are you scared? Mummy's got you". She no answer me but that was when she eloquently taught me a lesson without words.
Many a time, life crashes like thunder all around us and we get so jumpy and afraid that we forget how strong God is. (Forgive me for being preachy). He holds us in His capable hands and asks us to trust and believe that He's got it all figured out but we still jump and fear. We need to remember the power He has given us and also remember that it is alright not to have all the answers. We are made weak so His strength is made manifest. Profound lesson learnt.
So I forgave my dearest Kaira for being scared while mummy had her safe because I also make the same mistake and I should know better. It may not be easy living without having all the answers but I know God has got my back. He'll never let me down because He set me on this journey and has the master plan.
So when next there is a thunderstorm (issues, that is), I know who to go to. And I am super confident I'll get my answers and bearings right.
Now, that's faith...
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Mum's the word (Working mum, that is...)
So work resumed for me after a 3 month long mat leave absence (which, to me, is not nearly enough) and here I was, on my bed, waking in fits and starts because dearest madam, my daughter, has decided to wake every 10 minutes for reasons I do not know. I so was not looking forward to this work thing because I was tired inside out but how I for do na? Baby food no go buy himsef!
So with that pep talk done, I mentally woke myself before my two fat legs cooperated with me and left the bed. Luckily, madam was still catching some zzzs. One glance at the clock and it was 6:30am. Not bad! The cab guy was to pick us at half 8. In case you are wondering, I no get nanny. Not from lack of trying though. Also, the horror stories of nannies who abducted and sold their charges plus other horrors no gree me so I jejely made up my mind to take my little tot to work till she was old enough for creche. I no fit shout.
Anyway, back to my story. I gingerly made my way to the bathroom and had my shower. I was still towelling off when I heard the beginnings of a whimper coming from the direction of the cot. Haba! This gal no wan gimme space? I gritted my teeth and willed her back to sleep so I could have more time to myself and, pronto! It worked! She went back to sleep! Good girl!
I happy small. At least, I could rummage for what to wear. Months of incubating and delivering and nursing had taken it's toll so nothing fit. Damn! Not today, I swore. Not now, not ever! Lucky enough, I was able to locate something that fit so I happy again. Another quick check at the time and it was 7am! Chei! Where was time flying to?! As if on cue, my gal just opened her eyes and stared directly at me as if to ask, "Sup, mum?". I took that as a sign that the heavens were cooperating with me and quickly bathed and clothed her in record time. You go fear my multitasking skills! Na so the babe just start to dey fret o! I groaned inwardly. See me, see gobe o! Did this child expect me to feed her now I was clothed? That did not help my situation at all. She wanted what she wanted and wanted it right away. And it was a quarter past 7 already.
I obeyed her na. I get choice? But I was watching the clock like a hawk because I must get some food in before 8 am. Anyway, once she took a break, I carried her out and into the waiting arms of her grandma who was around and that was when the real drama started. Kaira started wailing. Pitiful wails that could rend your soul. Dem pacify this chick, for where? For her mind, mumsie don leave am waka without filling her tummy and she was having none of it. Hmm. Ok na. Two can play. How can I start work with a lateness record? This gal, you don fail! I kuku ignored her and quickly downed my breakfast and went to pick her. It was quarter past 8 and the cab guy had come. I hustled us into the cab, all the while promising her she would nurse on the 15 minute ride to the office. That seemed to calm her so she stopped crying. Round one.
I made good on my promise and on the way, I kept asking myself how I was going to cope at the office with a crying baby but who I wan leave am for before? We made it to the office twenty minutes later (because of traffic o) without drama and I heaved a sigh of relief. Everyone was happy to see us and naturally, wanted to carry her (can u blame them? She's that adorable, jo!). That was mistake number two. Because she jejely scrunched her face well well and let loose this piercing wail that surprised even me. And she didn't stop. Ha! See gbege! Initially, I pointedly ignore her because I had to reply my mails and inform HR I was back to work but when she was still wailing some minutes later, I know say I don buy market. So, here I was, back at work, a screaming baby in tow, what to do? I did what every mum would do. Multitask! So in between typing a mail with one hand and bouncing a much distressed Kaira with the other, all the while giving instructions to my team members and holding my first management meeting of the year, I got the job done.
She calmed down an hour and a full tummy later and dropped off to sleep and I heaved a waery sigh. Round two... This my resumption was going to be interesting, I concluded.
And someone called women weak. If I hear...
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