I know I will be sounding like a broken record when I say, "There is a recession" but, hey, there IS a recession. And it is no longer news that jobs are being cut on the regular. Families can longer sustain themselves, bills are mounting and inflation is at an all time high.
This phenomenon has mostly affected the young, productive demographic, I mean, those that are either working and able to or those able to work and seeking employment. You can imagine the stress on a lot of families.
So, while trading lamentations on issues of being a full time work-out-of-home-mum-without-help and the dearth of reliable live in helps in the country coupled with the rate of unemployment and its attendant issues with a friend, a few thoughts came to me on how I can encourage young people to think creatively about ways to create value in their immediate community and at the same time, make money and I will share it with you.
You know the beauty of being a value adding entity in your community? It is in finding a NEED and filling it!! That simple. And there is a huge gap in Domestic services. You think I am lying? Find out the number of households in your neighbourhood that have househelps or maids or some other sort of domestic help.
Now, this is where you come in. You and a few friends can team up and decide to provide help (not the MMM kind of help o) temporarily for families in your neighbourhood for a token. That is a start. Your team can put word out that you can clean the house, do laundry, go shopping and wash cars for a token fee. On the said day, you all can appear at your client's house with your cleaning supplies and clean the heck out of that place and even help the client organize their space. Do it well and conscientiously for one or two families and you would get a stream of jobs in the neighbourhood. One of you can keep the books. You can have a schedule of jobs you offer and days you will be available for each job and the time frame for such jobs. You could add shopping to your list. A team member who can drive an awesome bargain can undertake that. Another team member can undertake car washing for a fee.
Keep your pricing reasonable. And make it fun while at it. Be very prudent in spending and as your profile grows, grow your little "business" until it becomes something big. My only advice is, please be HONEST. Always deliver on promises. For example, if you say it takes you two hours to clean a house, you will get better referrals if you do the job in under two hours and do a very good job. That is called under promising and over delivering (if there is anything like that. We just use it at my office to communicate value to staff).
Getting ideas, yet? Aha! Trust me, do a good job, then you will be making enough revenue to help yourself out of recession in no time.
Never say I never gave you anything good this new year.
Thursday, 5 January 2017
Faithing it out...Not!!!
I had a very interesting conversation with a dear friend today that inspired me to put up this post. Being in the health profession puts one front and center of some of the most harrowing life changes one can experience. In fact, if one is not careful, you become desensitized and start questioning your humanity but I digress.
So, our interesting conversation birthed two posts and this is one of it.
Ogbeni, it is a real wa for you o!!! Ah!!!! Na so e dey hungry you to play with your life?! The doctor has looked you up and your diagnosis requires that you get regular dialysis to remain in good health and possibly reverse your condition but what do you do? You decide in your infinite "wisdom" that going home and "living by faith and positive confessions" was the best way to go. Good luck to you. So, what was your distraught family members looking for in the hospital when your situation was past what dialysis can resolve.
Do you know that there are times when dialysis is not enough? So, why didn't you just stick to the treatment plan with your doctor at least until it doesn't work anymore? Coming back when your organs had completely failed and you were this close to pack up is just another psychological trauma on your doctor and carers o. Or do you think health workers are not humans with feelings too? So, you did not realize that failure to keep you alive impacts on their careers. Years later, they are still reviewing your case to find out where the ball dropped while maybe your family is still mourning and blaming them when the blame should be placed where it belongs- Your Criminally Insane Decision to Ignore Medical Advice. Chai!!! Ogbeni, stop eet!!!!!
Please!!! This is a new year o!! Resolve today to take your health seriously. Talk with your doctor about your condition, if you have one. Discuss diagnostic and treatment options and choose the best one with the best prognosis. Trust me, your life is also important to the doctor. Do it today and enjoy a great quality of life.
Till next post, remain healthy and wise.
You know I love you, right?
Your Friendly Health Worker...
So, our interesting conversation birthed two posts and this is one of it.
Ogbeni, it is a real wa for you o!!! Ah!!!! Na so e dey hungry you to play with your life?! The doctor has looked you up and your diagnosis requires that you get regular dialysis to remain in good health and possibly reverse your condition but what do you do? You decide in your infinite "wisdom" that going home and "living by faith and positive confessions" was the best way to go. Good luck to you. So, what was your distraught family members looking for in the hospital when your situation was past what dialysis can resolve.
Do you know that there are times when dialysis is not enough? So, why didn't you just stick to the treatment plan with your doctor at least until it doesn't work anymore? Coming back when your organs had completely failed and you were this close to pack up is just another psychological trauma on your doctor and carers o. Or do you think health workers are not humans with feelings too? So, you did not realize that failure to keep you alive impacts on their careers. Years later, they are still reviewing your case to find out where the ball dropped while maybe your family is still mourning and blaming them when the blame should be placed where it belongs- Your Criminally Insane Decision to Ignore Medical Advice. Chai!!! Ogbeni, stop eet!!!!!
Please!!! This is a new year o!! Resolve today to take your health seriously. Talk with your doctor about your condition, if you have one. Discuss diagnostic and treatment options and choose the best one with the best prognosis. Trust me, your life is also important to the doctor. Do it today and enjoy a great quality of life.
Till next post, remain healthy and wise.
You know I love you, right?
Your Friendly Health Worker...
Tuesday, 3 January 2017
On Abuse and Victim Blaming
I have been blessed by wonderful virtual friends that stretch me intellectually and challenge me to stick up for what I believe in. One of such persons is Nkechi Cheery Bianze. Her Facebook post on Victim Blaming for DV victims spoke to me so I decided to put it here with her permission.
I enjoyed it. I know you would too, so here we go...
In the UK, as soon as a victim reports a case of domestic violence, the first thing they do is take the victim and all dependants to a safe place. From lodging in hotels to shelter homes, and then to council flats or rented apartment....depending on the financial capacity of the victim.
While at this, the society do not give you the impression that you have failed. They won't blame you for your plight. They won't tell you that you were rude to your abuser, they won't make excuses for your abuser, you will not be stigmatized if you decide to get divorced from your marriage with your abuser.
The police will not tell you that it's a family issue. They will not ask you what you did to your abuser that made him or her abuse you. They would usually take your abuser away immediately while they keep you safe.
They will also give you the option of whether or not you want to press charges, and this only happens if there's no enough evidence. If there is, the state will press charges, with or without your consent.
In the US and Canada, similar procedures are taken in cases of domestic violence like in the UK. Except that since there are fewer shelter homes and council houses; the abuser will be asked to leave the house for the abused (in most cases), and a restraining order issued immediately.
*** Now let's come back home to NIGERIA***
If for instance a woman reports to the police that she is being abused by her husband, they will tell her that it's a family issue. They will ask her what she did to her husband that made him beat her. They will ask her if she is doing everything right, they will make excuses for the abuser.
If she goes to church, the Pastor will ask her to go and pray, the pastor's wife and elders will ask her to be submissive, the church will not fail to blame her for not being a perfect wife, hence turning the husband into a monster.
If she comes to Facebook, they will ask her to watch war room, and the rest will request for the other side of the story. Because in Nigeria where I come from, by default, the victim gets blamed and the abuser enjoys the benefits of doubt. And we spend more time and energy telling the victim not to overreact than we do telling the abuser not to abuse.
If she goes back to her parents or family, they will offer to help her go and beg her husband, they will tell her not to bring shame to the family by seeking divorce, they will tell her to do it for the sake of the children.
If she goes to the husband's family, they will tell her that they paid her bride price.
If she leaves the abusive husband, the society will mock her for being a divorcee. She will be called a failure for not being able to remain married to her abuser.
And if she goes back to stay put in abuse and she gets killed or marred for life, same society will ask her why she didn't leave before it got to that level.... why she had to die in her marriage, and why she couldn't use her brains.
You see, in the Nigerian society, female victims of domestic violence never win. Whatever they say or do will always be used against them. They are always wrong, it's always their fault, there's always something to blame in the victims. The victim is inherently guilty as charged.
The psychology of the Nigerian woman is nutured to believe that the ability to remain married, even to the most deadly monster is all there is to life. If for any reason you don't get married or remain married, then you are a colossal failure.
This is a mental slavery that many still live in. Not very many have been able to emancipate from such mental slavery.
The ability to emancipate from this mental slavery is not in the level of education nor exposure, it's an inner decision that people get to make at different stages of their lives.
My cousin who has just WAEC to her name, jobless and was fully dependent on ex husband walked away with her 3-month old baby girl, and went back to her VERY POOR parents.
On the other hand, I still know medical doctors, Lawyers, PhD holders and other high earning professionals who are still living and putting up with abusive partners.
With my cousin's poverty, and at the age of 25 (she got married at 23 and got divorced at 25, now 28), she had emancipated from the mental slavery, even before other women who are by far more educated, exposed, richer, and enlightened than she is.
Not until we stop blaming victims, not until we stop shaming single mothers and single fathers, not until we stop preaching the gospel that the ability to be and remain married is the sole reason for the existence of women; more women will keep dying in domestic violence. Because this sermon is what builds up over the years, and gets passed on from generation to generation as our mentality... a "sacred culture", and this is the foundation of the mental slavery most women who continously put up with domestic violence live in.
I enjoyed it. I know you would too, so here we go...
In the UK, as soon as a victim reports a case of domestic violence, the first thing they do is take the victim and all dependants to a safe place. From lodging in hotels to shelter homes, and then to council flats or rented apartment....depending on the financial capacity of the victim.
While at this, the society do not give you the impression that you have failed. They won't blame you for your plight. They won't tell you that you were rude to your abuser, they won't make excuses for your abuser, you will not be stigmatized if you decide to get divorced from your marriage with your abuser.
The police will not tell you that it's a family issue. They will not ask you what you did to your abuser that made him or her abuse you. They would usually take your abuser away immediately while they keep you safe.
They will also give you the option of whether or not you want to press charges, and this only happens if there's no enough evidence. If there is, the state will press charges, with or without your consent.
In the US and Canada, similar procedures are taken in cases of domestic violence like in the UK. Except that since there are fewer shelter homes and council houses; the abuser will be asked to leave the house for the abused (in most cases), and a restraining order issued immediately.
*** Now let's come back home to NIGERIA***
If for instance a woman reports to the police that she is being abused by her husband, they will tell her that it's a family issue. They will ask her what she did to her husband that made him beat her. They will ask her if she is doing everything right, they will make excuses for the abuser.
If she goes to church, the Pastor will ask her to go and pray, the pastor's wife and elders will ask her to be submissive, the church will not fail to blame her for not being a perfect wife, hence turning the husband into a monster.
If she comes to Facebook, they will ask her to watch war room, and the rest will request for the other side of the story. Because in Nigeria where I come from, by default, the victim gets blamed and the abuser enjoys the benefits of doubt. And we spend more time and energy telling the victim not to overreact than we do telling the abuser not to abuse.
If she goes back to her parents or family, they will offer to help her go and beg her husband, they will tell her not to bring shame to the family by seeking divorce, they will tell her to do it for the sake of the children.
If she goes to the husband's family, they will tell her that they paid her bride price.
If she leaves the abusive husband, the society will mock her for being a divorcee. She will be called a failure for not being able to remain married to her abuser.
And if she goes back to stay put in abuse and she gets killed or marred for life, same society will ask her why she didn't leave before it got to that level.... why she had to die in her marriage, and why she couldn't use her brains.
You see, in the Nigerian society, female victims of domestic violence never win. Whatever they say or do will always be used against them. They are always wrong, it's always their fault, there's always something to blame in the victims. The victim is inherently guilty as charged.
The psychology of the Nigerian woman is nutured to believe that the ability to remain married, even to the most deadly monster is all there is to life. If for any reason you don't get married or remain married, then you are a colossal failure.
This is a mental slavery that many still live in. Not very many have been able to emancipate from such mental slavery.
The ability to emancipate from this mental slavery is not in the level of education nor exposure, it's an inner decision that people get to make at different stages of their lives.
My cousin who has just WAEC to her name, jobless and was fully dependent on ex husband walked away with her 3-month old baby girl, and went back to her VERY POOR parents.
On the other hand, I still know medical doctors, Lawyers, PhD holders and other high earning professionals who are still living and putting up with abusive partners.
With my cousin's poverty, and at the age of 25 (she got married at 23 and got divorced at 25, now 28), she had emancipated from the mental slavery, even before other women who are by far more educated, exposed, richer, and enlightened than she is.
Not until we stop blaming victims, not until we stop shaming single mothers and single fathers, not until we stop preaching the gospel that the ability to be and remain married is the sole reason for the existence of women; more women will keep dying in domestic violence. Because this sermon is what builds up over the years, and gets passed on from generation to generation as our mentality... a "sacred culture", and this is the foundation of the mental slavery most women who continously put up with domestic violence live in.
Monday, 2 January 2017
Of Angels and Demons
Someone once told me that experience was a good teacher but that one did not need to go through everything in order to learn. It didn't make sense to me when I heard this but I remember the conversation 5 years later and I can't help but see the truth this person was sharing.
You see, the salon to me is so much more than a place to make the latest hairstyle come alive on my head. It has aslo turned to the shrink's chair, confessional, court, even a provider of fodder for gossip and food for thought. Which was why when I went to the salon on this particular day, I was not prepared for the macabre story I heard.
So, this woman (we will call her Roz) had died, leaving behind three children, aged 4 to 10 years. She was not ill, she did not have an accident. Her husband beat her and she fell from the staircase while running away from his blows. She died later in the hospital from injuries sustained from the beating and fall from the staircase. The worst thing about this story is that she had been warned by her mother and sisters to leave the abusive marriage but she did not heed. She wanted to be a hero and died a coward.
You see, the real victims in this sad story are the children that witnessed this abuse for years. And this leads me to ask, when does it all end? When do you say enough? When does the angel transform into a demon? When does self preservation kick in and you run for your life? Do you even need anyone to tell you to save yourself?
Many of the victims of domestic violence often say the reason they stay is because they are afraid of what people will say and how to start over. I dare say that it really doesn't fly in the face of the obvious. I was once told by a lecturer in school, that self preservation was the first rule of life.
A friend said in a Facebook post I read, that people should learn to walk away when their lives are in danger. I know I have even made similar posts in the past. I mean, animals do it when being chased by predators so why not humans with apparently more intelligence?
We do not need these sort of stories anymore. There are no winners in the end.
Again, do you really need anyone to tell you to flee in the face of terror? Borrow yourself brain today, brethren.
-Your Friendly Health Worker.
So, this woman (we will call her Roz) had died, leaving behind three children, aged 4 to 10 years. She was not ill, she did not have an accident. Her husband beat her and she fell from the staircase while running away from his blows. She died later in the hospital from injuries sustained from the beating and fall from the staircase. The worst thing about this story is that she had been warned by her mother and sisters to leave the abusive marriage but she did not heed. She wanted to be a hero and died a coward.
You see, the real victims in this sad story are the children that witnessed this abuse for years. And this leads me to ask, when does it all end? When do you say enough? When does the angel transform into a demon? When does self preservation kick in and you run for your life? Do you even need anyone to tell you to save yourself?
Many of the victims of domestic violence often say the reason they stay is because they are afraid of what people will say and how to start over. I dare say that it really doesn't fly in the face of the obvious. I was once told by a lecturer in school, that self preservation was the first rule of life.
A friend said in a Facebook post I read, that people should learn to walk away when their lives are in danger. I know I have even made similar posts in the past. I mean, animals do it when being chased by predators so why not humans with apparently more intelligence?
We do not need these sort of stories anymore. There are no winners in the end.
Again, do you really need anyone to tell you to flee in the face of terror? Borrow yourself brain today, brethren.
-Your Friendly Health Worker.
Hebrew Women Phenomenon
This was supposed to be a post for last year but hey, my people say Taa bu gboo- Today is still a good time as any. So, here we go. Enjoy.
Rant alert!!!
I am vexing and I want to vent my vex but before I do let me
share a fun fact;
MMR(NIGERIA, 2015)-814/100,000 (WHO REPORT)
Wondering what that gibberish means? That is the maternal
mortality rate (MMR) for Nigeria for the year 2015. It basically means that in
100,000 live births, we are sure to have 814 women die from issues ranging from
poorly managed complications to self-inflicted complications. And you see,
numbers like this are way too much by world standards. 814 women should not die
giving birth. It is heart breaking. Simple. And we must bring this number down
to the barest minimum.
You see, I keep talking about the self inflicted
complications but people don’t seem to understand where I am coming from. My
focus in this rant is on one major contributing factor to this number I have
mentioned- I MUST “BORN” LIKE HEBREW WOMEN or what I call the HEBREW WOMEN
PHENOMENON.
What does this phenomenon connote? Hm. I will start with a
story. You see, while I was interning in one of the teaching hospitals in South
eastern Nigeria, I came across all sorts of very funny characters- patients and
health professionals alike but some patients do take the cake.
Nkiru(not real name) was one of such funny individuals. You see,
Nkiru has been married for about half a decade without a child. Now, in this
part of the world where I lived, it was unheard of that her husband has not
married a son-giving woman since the second year of that marriage but Nkiru’s
husband, Stanley(not real name) stuck by her and supported her through the many
ordeals she went through. This led them to a new generation church and by some
stroke of fate, Nkiru fell pregnant eventually. I don’t know if she was paying
attention during her ante natal classes but the Man of God in her church had
impressed it on them that certain things were a no no for ‘children of God’ who
were to give birth. Things like Caesarean Section, any form of assistance
during childbirth. Apparently, something to look forward to was delivering like
“Hebrew women” which meant, delivering without any form of medical assistance
or intervention.
Well, Nkiru was having this ‘miracle’ baby boy and on her
delivery date I was on call in the blood bank. Baby was presenting with his
buttocks instead of his head which requires medical intervention-CS. It was
suggested to her but guess what? She staunchly refused. The God of XYZ will not
let the devil succeed in robbing her of the chance to deliver like Hebrew
women. By the time I got involved, she had had a bad tear in her uterus and the
baby was distressed. Stanley had eventually signed consent for an emergency CS.
Well, I did my job which was to get blood across to the theatre and the surgery
was done. Baby was born but Nkiru lost her womb in the process. Thank goodness
she did not die. It would have been tragic and would have affected our MMR.
Lesson? I always tell whoever cares to listen that delivery
a la Hebrew Women is just making sure that both mother and baby come out of the
delivery room with little or no complications or death on either side.
Apparently, religious houses and some unscrupulous elements think medical
intervention during delivery is a taboo. Jesus, take the wheel!!!
I advise strongly that every time your pregnancy test reads
positive, after congratulating yourself or got over the shock, kindly find
yourself in the nearest good hospital and register for proper antenatal care.
Prayers are good but in all getting, get wisdom and apply accordingly.
Never say I didn’t do something nice for you...
- Your Friendly Health Worker.
HAPPY 2017
This blog project of mine has showed me something sha. It has proved to me the age long saying that Procrastination is the thief of time.
That said, welcome to 2017- The Year of The Unveiling and Becoming (No puns there). I have so many projects up my sleeves but I hope and pray sincerely that they won't go like my blog-dormant. So, God helping me, I'll put up more posts this year, especially on a topic dear to my heart- Patient Education.
This blog will see increased activity and hopefully from here we can move on to bigger things.
So, watch out world. This is going to be the New home for the Friendly Health Worker and the Criminally Insane.
Oshe Online Health Worker!!!
Welcome to 2017, my people.
That said, welcome to 2017- The Year of The Unveiling and Becoming (No puns there). I have so many projects up my sleeves but I hope and pray sincerely that they won't go like my blog-dormant. So, God helping me, I'll put up more posts this year, especially on a topic dear to my heart- Patient Education.
This blog will see increased activity and hopefully from here we can move on to bigger things.
So, watch out world. This is going to be the New home for the Friendly Health Worker and the Criminally Insane.
Oshe Online Health Worker!!!
Welcome to 2017, my people.
Sunday, 2 February 2014
Tech what?....
I love technology. Heck, I love anything that makes life easier. That's why I love this cashless economy ish that just got introduced. It totally works for me o jare. What it means for yours truly is that no unnecessary cash goes home with me, so, automatically, no unnecessary spending. Or so I thought.
It also happens that what one loves, kills one. That is where my dislike for technology starts. You know, those very embarrasing moments that make you wish you were still analogue not digital. Well, I digress.
Well, this last friday, Kaira had her vaccination appointment and I had a few things I needed to do in town so I decided to kill two birds with a stone. The appointment took longer than I anticipated but I still had a window of 3 hours before she becomes cranky so I hit the mall close to the hospital for some grocery shopping.
For some reason I couldn't immediately name, I stopped at the nearest ATM and made a quick withdrawal and went in to do my shopping. I had asked the cab guy to wait for a few minutes since I knew I wasn't going to waste time and the human traffic was manageable. I figured 5 minutes tops I'd be done so I left my purse in the car and grabbed my daughter and my ATM card and dashed into the shop.
A quick dash through the aisles later and I found myself at the checkout queue, feeling cool with myself. When it got to my turn, I gave the attendant my card and she swiped it. Transaction error. What?!, I thought. She assured me it was probably the network and fetched another POS machine. The lady behind me on the queue gave and impatient hiss and Kaira, who hitherto had been sleeping, woke fretfully. Her body was getting hot to the touch so my system kicked into urgent mode. The attendant swiped my card again. Issuer not operative. Hian! Which kain nonsense be this na? I was getting cranky myself because Kaira had started crying. Not good at all. The attendant said, "Don't worry, madam. Let me check this third machine" but I was barely listening. I was beyond livid and I cursed at the machine. (Like say na the machine cause am). When the third machine gave the same error message, I swore at my bank's network service and excused myself and dashed to the cab to retrieve my purse. Luckily, the cash in my purse was enough to pay for what I had bought.
God senior devil sha. Technology no go kill person.
It also happens that what one loves, kills one. That is where my dislike for technology starts. You know, those very embarrasing moments that make you wish you were still analogue not digital. Well, I digress.
Well, this last friday, Kaira had her vaccination appointment and I had a few things I needed to do in town so I decided to kill two birds with a stone. The appointment took longer than I anticipated but I still had a window of 3 hours before she becomes cranky so I hit the mall close to the hospital for some grocery shopping.
For some reason I couldn't immediately name, I stopped at the nearest ATM and made a quick withdrawal and went in to do my shopping. I had asked the cab guy to wait for a few minutes since I knew I wasn't going to waste time and the human traffic was manageable. I figured 5 minutes tops I'd be done so I left my purse in the car and grabbed my daughter and my ATM card and dashed into the shop.
A quick dash through the aisles later and I found myself at the checkout queue, feeling cool with myself. When it got to my turn, I gave the attendant my card and she swiped it. Transaction error. What?!, I thought. She assured me it was probably the network and fetched another POS machine. The lady behind me on the queue gave and impatient hiss and Kaira, who hitherto had been sleeping, woke fretfully. Her body was getting hot to the touch so my system kicked into urgent mode. The attendant swiped my card again. Issuer not operative. Hian! Which kain nonsense be this na? I was getting cranky myself because Kaira had started crying. Not good at all. The attendant said, "Don't worry, madam. Let me check this third machine" but I was barely listening. I was beyond livid and I cursed at the machine. (Like say na the machine cause am). When the third machine gave the same error message, I swore at my bank's network service and excused myself and dashed to the cab to retrieve my purse. Luckily, the cash in my purse was enough to pay for what I had bought.
God senior devil sha. Technology no go kill person.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)